When you stop obsessing about things, everything truly falls into place. I’m really happy about last weekend; I couldn’t have seen it coming. But I am definitely making major progress in one of the most important areas in my life. I will share full details in due time.
For now though, I am one happy bunny.
I have to admit, I’ve been slacking on August goals. Yes I’ve kept to my resolutions every now and then; but not as rigorously as I should.
Tomorrow marks the end of the first half of August so it’s time to fix up sharp sharp. I need to do better with my health and fitness goals.
Lately I’ve found a new level of peace within me that I’m really happy about. I’m no longer in a hurry for things to happen. I’m just focusing on what I have, and staying grateful for all that I previously took for granted.
I’m looking forward to a quiet weekend, and spending time with family.
And thankful. It seems I dodged a bullet this weekend, lol. Humans are really something else sha.
I made plans for the month of August, and I let people into my life that made me deviate from the plans. But I need to find my way back.
- I am refocusing on self love. I don’t want to let anyone [new] in anymore. [I mean guys]
- I need to take care of my body and take my diet and fitness goals seriously
- I need to give my 100% attention to my business; I’m actually excited for that journey. Launch on August 30th, in shaa Allah.
- I need to make myself happy every single day.
- I need to keep up my gratitude journal; finding at least 3 things to be thankful for each day.
- Today I’m thankful for dodging a bullet in form of a ‘suitor’, for my family [and the friends that are like family], and for my business. God has been really good to me. I can never ever doubt His love for me.
I love new beginnings; be it January 1st, 1st of a new month, or Monday to mark a new week. The 1st of August marks a brand new journey for me. In July I set out (professional) goals. Many I accomplished; others I didn’t. But for August, I’m setting personal (and a few professional goals).
I’m declaring August my self love month; I’m going to love myself real hard! This month I’m focusing 100% on myself.
1. Body detox. I started this ‘vegan before 6’ diet a few days ago and I’m loving it. I basically eat strictly vegan diets before 6pm each day and then I can eat anything after 6. The trick however is that most days by 6, I can only eat so much. I’m doing 5 days a week though. I don’t want to put any stress on myself on weekends. But this diet really makes me eat more greens and wholesome goodness from the earth. And I believe it will help my skin greatly.
2 . Yoga. I started yoga (again) last week 20 minutes every morning after prayers; and I hope to continue this. This is also 5 days a week. And I only get to skip yoga if I go for a run, or dance for at least 30 minutes. I’m also doing squats. Gotta keep everything tight. It’s really all about ME this month – from the inside out.
3. Dress up. Yes. I plan to pay extra attention to my looks this month. I miss my fashionista days, haha. So I’m going back there. And I want to learn make-up (on YouTube). I want to be highlighting and contouring and all that good stuff by the end of August. I’ve never really been big on make-up. The most I ever do is foundation, eyeliner, lipstick, and mascara. Time to turn it up.
4. No boys allowed. Yep. I need a detox there too. I sincerely don’t want to talk to or get involved with any guy; old or new. I really need to be left alone. I’ll review by September 1st to see if I’m ready to let anyone in. But right now I think I really need to focus on learning to love myself by myself; and then maybe I’ll be ready to let someone else love me. I’m just so overwhelmed with the madness of dating. I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to play games. It doesn’t come naturally to me. The past few months have been a bit overwhelming; constantly obsessing over whether it was working out with one guy or the other. I’m not interested anymore. I need to focus on loving me. And I need to stop fraternizing with the ex. We can’t be friends. It’s not working. I’m not interested in that friendship anymore. I just don’t see the point of friendship where there’s no honesty.
5. Books. I gotta read 2 business books. I’m currently halfway through Richard Branson’s losing my virginity. So I have to read another one. And then 2 books for pleasure. So on average, a book a week.
I’m excited for the month of August! I look forward to living and doing everything with love and in joy.
I have no idea why I’m this emotional this morning. But I’ve been crying uncontrollably. And it’s not the time of the month. So I really do not get it. Being single has been filled with highs and lows; more lows than highs, but I feel like I’m about to hit my lowest low. I’ve learned that not every ‘I’m fine’ or ‘lol’ is not sincere. Because the number of ‘I’m fine’ and ‘lols’ that I’ve sent this morning, while my eyes were clouded with tears is surprising to even me.
Sometimes I regret breaking up with my ex. But then I remember why I broke up with him, and then I don’t regret it anymore. However, there have been times when I’ve thought to myself that maybe, just maybe I should have dealt with his shit. Because the levels of shit I’ve encountered since I broke up with him are on a majorly different level.
I’m tired of stringer-alongers. You know? The ones that you just can’t figure out what they want; but they refuse to completely disappear or let you go. So you’re counting weeks, turning into months, and they’re always there on and off, but they never go away. But you don’t move forward. You’re just stuck at one stage with them. Everyone I’ve talked to says it doesn’t take that long to decide what you want/if you’re interested or not.
And why is it that the ones you have zero chemistry with are the ones that do everything right? They’re the ones that pretty much stalk your ass until you have to get rude to them and straight up tell them to leave you alone? And then there’s this perfectly great guy that you have chemistry with; and you’re dying for him to do even half of what the no-chemistry ones are doing. But he refuses.
I’m just tired. I’m not sure how much more of it I can take. Maybe I’d rather be completely 100% alone. Maybe that’d make me happier. I don’t know. I sincerely always wonder if I have daddy issues. Because I don’t want to be this obsessed about this matter, but I can’t help it.
…that everything I’m looking for is right within me. I kept making these elaborate plans to go here and go there; hang with this one and that one…thinking I didn’t want to stay home alone, ‘bored’. But I found that I was even more bored being in gatherings I had no interest in and was always super relieved to return to the safety of my home. I’ve concluded that the Lagos clubbing scene is really not for me. It’s just too much. There’s no room to dance or move around; and you return home smelling like a chimney.
…I’m going to work real HARD! My friend said something last night, about being married to her work. So I’m about to fall in love with my work and give it my full-time undivided attention. No more looking for love. When love is ready, it shall find me. For now, I’m investing myself 100% in my business.
…I’m going to get out of fasting/holiday mode and run a minimum of 6 miles
…I’m going to clean up my diet. One green smoothie a day & no fried/sugary foods
…I’m going to keep up my religious routine from Ramadan. Not fasting doesn’t mean losing it all
…I’m going to do everything with love.
…intensify my prayers. It’s the end of Ramadan. Can’t believe how quickly it went by.
…turn up, possibly even turn upside down, post Ramadan. I don’t go out much, but something in me is dying to have a wild weekend.
…stay thankful, stay positive, stay untop of things at work.
…touch at least one life, even if it’s in a very little; almost insignificant way.
…eat healthy! The end of Ramadan doesn’t mean it’s time to binge.
In all, I just plan to stay happy! Early this morning, something unpleasant happened that made me really sad. I had started to dwell on it when I remembered my first post and ordered myself to find the lesson in the experience and dump the rest of it immediately. As soon as I was able to identify the major lesson, my mind quietened and I was instantly able to fall back asleep. See? This blog is working for me already :p
Have a great week! In positivity and love.